I was in my parents house for a month this time. Its pretty rare for me to stay that long. I usually visit for a week or so and mostly team it up with a Delhi visit, which somehow, just did not happen this time.

I was forced to realise that my parents, without exception, bring out the worst in me. I don't know how this happens... I dont really plan it that way, I try (not hard enough for sure!) to keep my mouth shut when things get pretty bad... but nothing really helps!

Its like life is this smooth sail... still, peaceful river... I do the things I like, be the way I want to be...try and be the person I'd like myself to be, atleast most of the times.... and then - suddenly the topography changes - the land is rougher, there are stones, pointed, harsh, there are rapids, waterfalls... wild animals... everything changes! This is time spent at my parents house!

There is a concept of human revolution, about changing from the inside in Buddhism. Only when this change comes about, can real change happen in the world around us. Whatever human revolution I actually accomplish when I am in Bombay, slides back to zero in Gwalior! Why...? Well, that is a mystery. Could it be that my parents really have'nt changed in all this time? Could it be that I actually am like that only - the way I am in Gwalior, and in simpler circumstances just become better. Which life is more real? Which self is more real? I am very confused this time. I almost feel like I have travelled back through time, when I sat on that Bombay-bound train!

Someday, I hope to take my life that I live here, the person that I am here, back to that primal place... the house of my parents! That day, true human revolution would have happened!!

these temples are at batesar/bateshwar near gwalior. this site was supposed to be a school for teaching temple architecture. there are many small temples there are almost the same. found the concept very interesting, never heard of such a school before!

the dear old radio, the only source of connection to the outside world. one of the guards took the radio and sat on this charpoy which was on the highest dilapidated part of the building which they have made their home. he probably slept with the radio too. was strange to listen to film songs in this remote place!

this is the amazing temple at mitavali, near gwalior. its called the "chausath yogini temple", according to mythology the 64 yoginis would ask a king 64 riddles, and if he answered them all satisfactorily, then he was pronounced a "chakravarty" by them. the yoginis are devotees of shiva, so the shrine in the middle is that of shiva, and those around it, are 64 small shrines of the yoginis. its said that the architect of the parliament house (lutyens?) visited this temple and got inspired by its design and used it in delhi. it is eerily similar to the basic layout of the parliament house.

the same swamp outside the house pictures of which i posted earlier too... this is just a different side of the same swamp. its really nothing to look at, i am a little impressed with myself for getting these pics out of there!

took this really intriguing pic today! love it... somehow... might become one of my favs! its a dry leaf hanging from a thin thread of spider web!

Bamboo shoots... if one lets imagination take over, it seems like a parrot like bird is perched on the small shoots...

A carpenter has been polishing all of moms old furniture in the house... these old settes looked very intriguing out there in the evening light...

A wild shrub outside the boundary wall. Living in the city makes one more sensitive to these little spots of wild, delicate beauty.

There are just too many birds around here! The second picture is a fluke pic, its a happy chance... I saw the bird on the wire and then she probably flew off and landed somewhere else, I just blindly kept shooting... saw later that I had this gem in my camera! The bird is an Indian Robin.

this is a swamp outside my parents house, they stay a little away from the city
so there aren't too many houses around. just yesterday i saw someone measuring a plot and this
morning there were people digging up the land. i only wonder if i will find the swamps when i
come back next year!


Hiya! Very very long time ... not fair when I promised to upload a pic each day! Guess life just takes over your well meaning plans sometimes! I am in Gwalior now and doing - well, almost nothing. Its a strange blank, vaccum at the end of the year... even thoughts dont come as often here as they usually do! The mind can switch off for a few days and nobody would even notice! Maybe thats why I am here - to give the mind a break, stop thinking. But pictures - well, they dont need the mind anymore... they come from somewhere else in my being...

I love to watch the kids coming out from the school thats right in front of my house ... looks like grandmoms take their jobs really seriously these days! The old lady in the first photograph can barely even stand straight!

Sorry guys, I am late today... was busy with so many other during the day! I am gonna try and upload in the first half of the day, and ya - weekends are off for me! So don't check those days!

About the pic - I have this very palm like plant at home - I just loved the delicate leaves looked just before they opened up. They almost like they are folded in prayer...

I think by now you guys must have guessed that I am a plants freak! Everywhere I look its leaves and flowers for me. When I had just come to Bombay, I used to look awestruck at the way the indoor flourished here, they looked this lovely tropical green and so healthy. All that moisture thats bad for my respiratory system is obviously wonderful for the plants!

Which one to pick for today!!??

I have a problem today - there are too many pics to choose from. But I really do want to stick to posting only one picture each day or its gonna get too messy. So... lets see... what I find ... there are feather pics, and leaf pics and shadow and light pics.... I am going for the feather pics coz of the novelty value... maybe I shd have another post with "surplus pics of the day"!! Too much on my mind today, too many details, its like I have been on "macro mode" for the past few days!

It seems the leaves theme is gonna go on for some time - I am just too fascinated with them right now! So here's one more! Leaves fascinate me so much I could print an

entire book on them! Its getting very interesting actually, looking for just that one picture - I have been thinking about it all day. I picked up this peepal leaf from the road - thinking I would shoot it at home. Did'nt know it would work out so well! I had a nice red background here, but it looks so much nicer in black and white.

One Photo A Day

I have this new obsession, lets see how far I can take it! I want to post one picture each day from today. For today I have this picture of leaves that I happened to find in my building. I love the different shades of green here.

Paris - je t'aime ?????

Paris. I really don't know where to start or what to say about it. I have such mixed feelings about Paris. Let me begin with this - I always loved the thought of Paris. You know how it is - you like the way the French make movies - one of my favourite actors is a french (Juliet Binoche) - one of my favourite films is in French (Three Colours). There is something very dreamy about the French film-making style. I have always been fascinated by their attention to detail, how they can make the mundane romantic... little things important.

So you can guess. I had these tremendous expectations from Paris. I remember a friend telling me that Paris gets into your system, you begin to breathe it. Hmm.... ok... I am sure it does get into your system. But I am not so sure how one feels after that. Especially someone who dares (yes dares) to not know French. Our Thalys train arrived in the Gare du Nord and I felt, this feels like a big city, somewhat like Delhi. My train experience was mixed, the waitress on the train had been a little weird, even though we were travelling first class. I don't want to appear petty and get into details, but she was not especially warm and friendly. Being brown skinned in Europe always keeps you on the guard, you're almost looking out for bad experiences.

First day in Paris. Our landlord, a French, was really warm and nice, so that was a good start. Our first meal... pasta, nothing to write home about... my husband and my brother had a crush on the French waitress though! She sure was quite dreamy and pretty! First two-three days you spend figuring out Paris. Amsterdam was a different deal, my brother lives there, he knew everything, it seemed very simple to get around the city. We carry a pram around for my son - Amsterdam is a dream for a couple travelling with a child. Everything, the tram, the roads, the buses are superbly pram friendly. There are designated places on trams for a pram. I was beginning to feel that all of Europe was going to be that simple! Paris - the guys here probably just did'nt bother too much with kids of their own, so forgot to make it child friendly! The tube stations have these steep flights of stairs, so the pram needs to be picked everytime when you go up or down. And the metro stations are very deep, so its not just one flight of stairs that we are talking about! Sometimes there are three - four flights. Very painful. No one cares that you have a pram and a small child, so no one helps. No one gives up a seat for an old person or a pregnant woman. Dunno what all this means, equality of all? I am sure there is a French phrase for it, but really, I dont wana know!

Its very strange - this city of Paris. It is so beautiful. But the people, they are caricatures of themselves. They take the legendary French rudeness too seriously. They really dont like foreigners. They really don't speak languages (as the Italian wife of my landlord told me). The beauty is overpowering. The city is impeccable. The architecture, the symmetry, the boulevards, the cafes. They are all beautiful. The impressionist painters. The museums - they sure know how to take care of their art. The Seine. The roadside shops selling paintings. They are all so beautiful, but try buying one of the pretty paintings, and god forbid, if you haggle for it, you are told curtly - this is Paris, no discounts here! Do they even want to do business? !
I have to admit, somewhere around the third fourth day, you start giving in. You think maybe they were taught in school to be rude to foreigners, so its not really their fault. And there is the rare kindness - here kindness just means being polite! And the food. Well - the food melts you. Thats the global warming melting the glaciers! Well, whatever! But the French food... even if its slightly bland, is awesome. I had a grilled salmon yesterday with cream sauce. There were layers of taste there... layers and layers! If you know the taste of fresh clarified butter - ghee - and the smell of it - well then you are getting to the salmon taste I got! I find that smell nostalgic and homely and sweet. Today I had a tuna steak with ratatouille. Interesting. AJ had marinated clams - thats something to die for! They were really nice. The French, like their caviar and their froi gras are a rare breed and you need to have a taste for them. They are not easy to grasp and even tougher to like. I am not sure yet if I like them, but I like what they have done with their city. They have made one helluva place. Something you love and wonder why - its almost like the love of a pricey mistress. She troubles you and turns your life upside down, but you are hooked for life!!

I have many more things to write about. But its really late... I should sleep...! Two more days here... and lots left to do!

Painted Skies

The skies here look painted. I have not seen prettier skies anywhere else. My brother's home is on the top floor of a building (9th) maybe thats how I get to see this really vast expanse outside. The room he has opens out into a terrace... it has pretty high walls, so all you see when you step out is the sky. Even in the night the sky is breathtakingly beautiful. Its raining off and on these days, so the clouds just roll in at times... there are grey clouds against white. Its like white takes on more shades in this land (read sky).

Last night the moon was shining from behind these pretty clouds... I tried to take a picture, its nothing great, but I am sure it gives an idea! I have been to the hills in India, and the sky there is beautiful. But there you somehow expect it to be like that. I know that sounds unfair. But try and understand. This is a busy, commercial city. I havent smelled fuel smoke even once here. Maybe they make cars differently here. In the middle of all this hustle and bustle, when you find so much beauty its really overwhelming. If just below your modern appartment building, you have a pristine canal and ducks and swans - well, it really does take your breath away. And you wonder how its possible. You wonder what did we do wrong in our cities. Are we so unaethetic or is that part of the globe just not so pretty? Delhi gets pretty in the winter, but thats short lived, and has so many other unpleasant connotations attatched to it. Alright, I should not get personal here. Delhi is pretty in the winter. But the smoke, and the traffic and the garbage. The dirty smog that settles every evening coz of the pollution.

I had gone to Munnar in May - its a picture perfect place. Beautiful hills and lovely weather in the middle of the Indian summer. It really has a lot going for it. But the main town? Its ugly. There are small budget hotels sprouting up like weeds on the hill sides. They are bright pink and indigo blue with ugly facades. The market place is a jumble of concrete buildings, of myriad shapes and sizes. It has just begun developing, its not a very old town. I wonder why someone can't come up with one aesthetic pattern for development of that pretty town? Very soon it will look like downtown Ooty, where you wonder why you came there at all. There is no quaintness left in that town, its a dusty, dirty town. The only sanity is the Botanical Garden there. You have to get away from our towns and cities to find beauty. Thats my whole point. Here, its right here. I dont have to run away anywhere to find it. Its under the building, its by the side of the road, its by the side of the pavement.

I just had to write this down before I slept. The pictures of the sky... I will put them up tomorrow!

Nepalese Food In Leidsplien, Amsterdam

A day back we left home late in the evening only to have dinner. Its getting a little tiring to go sight seeing everyday, really, even though the weather is nice and one does not get as tired as in India. But still, maybe its the mind that tires out. My brother took me to Leidseplien. I thought just Dam Square and Amsterdam Central were buzzy. How many places in one city can be buzzy??!! Leidseplien was terribly terribly buzzy. Young buzzy. There were hardly any older folks around. The lanes were packed with discotheques and cafes. There was music streaming out of everywhere. At the main square (plien) there was a musician who played music for almost 3-4 hours... can't say he was the best I've heard but he was fun, and added music to the atmosphere. Then there was this guy who played the electric guitar for a long time with a lot of background music on his sound system. There was also a comedian performing for a while, but I found his humour pretty crass, I was wondering how so many people were laughing to his jokes!

So, the food options were pretty simple. Leidseplien is famous for its steaks and almost all the cafes there served really good ones. It was a little nauseating, I have to admit, to see people grappling with huge pieces of meat on their plates and tweasing the flesh out with their teeth. I am fond of steaks, I knew it was gonna be beaf that I would mostly get here and beaf steaks that were popular. I am sure they would have laughed had I even suggested a chicken steak to them! That truely happens only in India!

We passed by this quiet Nepalese restaurant and were amused by the fact that they served "Dal Bhaat and Tarkari", thats the kinda language I often hear from my Grandmom who is from Bihar! Nepal and Bihar anyway border each other so there! We decided it was a little silly to have dal and rice for twelve euros so went off searching for another place. Then ... suddenly, the urge to eat "dal bhaat tarkari" happened. I have been eating all kinds of trash food this past ten days or so. Fried chips, yucky Mc Donald burgers... all that just got to me and I knew my food for the evening would be this Nepalese fare!

Its a little difficult to aptly describe what that dal bhaat tarkari really tasted like. I am serious. Coz, if I compare it to food back home, it was quite simply, not comparable. It was quite ordinary. But both me and my brother really relished every morsel and even asked for two extra rotis for two euros each!! We came to the conclusion that the only kinda food it can be compared to is "hostel food". Difficult to describe that again! You know, one hates the hostel food. There is monotony in taste and menu. But after a long day of college and roaming around, there really is nothing like hostel food. I still remember the taste of the paneer and aloo ki sabji that was a delicacy then, it was watery and we had to count the paneer pieces for each one of us. Sometimes we even traded the paneer for other things!

I hope I have managed to get across the taste of the food we ate. I wish I had taken a picture of the food itself. It was interesting and I know my brother would take his friends back there again!I have to tell my nani next time I meet her that I had Dal Bhaat Tarkari in Amsterdam! And actually loved it!

Today we went to this park on the way back from Albert Cuyp Market ( where by the way I nearly made myself bankrupt! AJ will definitely kill me when he sees his bank balance! ). This was probably a small neighbourhood park with swings and slides, there was also this small lake there with lots of ducks and one stork. Me and Abir went and sat very close to the ducks next to the lake. These ducks just kept on feeding on the grass almost ignoring our presence. They almost were not scared of us. Not almost, they were not. This city, and maybe this country and the government must be like this. Letting everyone be. Not afraid of anyone, so not reacting to anyone. I have rarely seen a brawl here, noone raises their voice. The only time I did see someone furious was at the Central Station where there are too many foreigners and difficult to figure who is a native and who is not.

My brother told me that once in his office a colleague of his, a Dutch native, took 2 -3 days off and everyone was wondering what was up with him. Maybe someone wrong with a family member, maybe some other trouble at home. The day he got back to work, he said, you know - I had the worst time of my life, I am really in a fix! When asked what had happened, he said, you know my Dad's cat, she fell sick and I have been running to the Vet everyday coz of that! Oh well... people probably really have no issues here. And seriously, if you look around, you'd realise that there is very little reason to! Its all so calm and beatiful and serene. Almost feels like a fairytale land. I have no experience of any other foreign country or city, but maybe that truely makes my view uncoloured. I would come back here to Amsterdam anyday! Dutch immigration beware of me!

The Pancake Bakery in Westermarkt, Amsterdam!

Today was one of the better of these anyway fantastic days. Started off with the local flea market near my brothers' house. It was fun and interesting, one coz i found so many Indian shopkeepers there talking to us in Hindi and freely giving discounts to their countrymen and two, coz this is probably the only place where one can shop without going bankrupt! So shop we did, I shopped for clothes and my brother for clothes for her girlfriend back in India. Next we went to Amsterdam Central to get tickets for Paris. We were given this token number and it took almost an hour for our turn to come. Bad news this time. The ticket prices we were expecting had shot up considerably and it seemed almost unaffordable. So after waiting that long we had to go back empty handed, with very little idea of how to reach Paris! Bus was an option or cheaper deals on the net. Amstel Bus station was a tube ride away, but somehow we were just not in the mood to carry on there.

Instead, we went to Westernmarkt, probably the most beautiful area of Amsterdam I have seen so far. At the face of it looks like all of the other canal lanes near Amsterdam Central but it just had a different feel... something quieter and more quaint. The Anne Frank House is in Westernmarkt. I did not go there today, did’nt plan to – but I could not help wondering how she and so many others felt being transported for no fault of theirs from this idyllic, beautiful place to a concentration camp. Made me realise there is a painful past to these cities. Like all other cities I guess. But this one is almost so painfully beautiful that any tragedy seems kinda out of place here.

Alright now! The main purpose of today’s blog – hmm! Yumm actually! The Pancake Bakery. Walking through one of the lanes off Westernmarkt by the canal you come across this really old antique looking door. Not ornate antique, but humble antique. I am so glad I did not just pass it by! It seems kinda dark when you peep inside to have a look. But once you do peep inside, well, you cant not go inside! It just has this warm inviting feel. We had to wait a minute or two to be seated. Pancakes. I don’t think we have explored the true potential of the humble pancake. Atleast not in our country. The only restaurant trying to do something interesting is probably crepe station, but it so not comes even close to what this restaurant is! I am being ridiculous just saying the two names in the same breath ! We ordered a ham and cheese and onions pancake, just one to split. And thank god for that! It was huge, much bigger than a big size pizza! And boy, it melted in your mouth. The cheese had become a little crispy on the top... and that was so awesome. There is probably not a better marriage possible than ham and cheese! And ham and cheese on this yummy pancake – I have no words ! Just that my mouth is watering again thinking about it! Gotta think about going there again soon!!

And yes! I forgot to mention the really cute ice cream they got for Abir with a small sparkler on top! Abir was fascinated! They had a separate children's menu and got Abir books to see and a really sweet wooden baby chair too!

Abir started play school last week. The first two days I was there with them, so he was fine. After that, I had to leave him alone. He cried, somedays for almost twenty mins. The first time we left the kids alone, all the moms (and one dad too) stayed back for the entire duration of the class... we had our ears pinned to the door of the class room. Any noise of crying and we would be on alert, whose kid is it this time?!

I seriously feel that moms ( and dads!) need more counselling than the little kids. The kids know no better, they probably think this is the way things function in their world. You grow up a bit and then you have to go to school. Getting used to the idea that our dearest darling babies are going to be away from us for two hours, under somebody else's supervision is really hard to take. In Abir's school they dont allow you to talk to the teachers after the first week, you have to take an appointment and come if you have some special concerns. The thrity second meeting I have with his teacher when she hands him over to me, I try to read her eyes, her tone of voice, the way she looks at Abir to figure how it really went for the both of them inside the class! Call me paranoid - if not for this rule, I know I would eat the teachers head asking her what Abir did all the time! If he smiled enough, played with the other kids... managed to do this activity, act out the rhymes or not...!

So... this is now almost the end of the second week of school. Abir puked today, he does that when he cries very intensely, he has done it once before in the school and I had shared my opinion with the teachers that this is normal and I wont be too concerned if this happened again. Still, the teacher called me and said maybe Abir is unwell so he puked? Oh well... this naughty, cheerful kid I left at the school door was definitely not unwell. I went to the school, waited and as I expected, he was fine after some time.

The owner of the school told me that along with the moms even the teachers have become a little paranoid! Hmm... now... really, whats one to do? So these will be stressful times, however hard one tries... there will be bumps and bruises on the way... Our little kids will grow up anyway, and hopefully, become the way we want them to, with some jarring edges here and there - how can I forget how much I troubled my mom when I was growing up? So I really can't expect to be not troubled by my son later on... I wont. But still, will I take it in my stride... maybe - maybe not..... its all hit and try here... but its fun all the same!

Gotta rush to pick up Abir from the school... more later!

a day in the life of abir gupta!

abir out on the lane... taing a ride behing a boy whose bike he took a fancy to... playing with paddy - the dog in the lane who wears shoes! kissing the li'l baby who comes out for a walk with his grandad... and talking to a delivery boy! he has the most interesting life...!

bombay port trust road

found both these pictures on the bombay port trust road... dunno how we landed up there, so many roads were closed coz of water logging... so one wrong turn led to another and god knows how we reached town that day! the good thing were these pics! love them both! shot them from the car, so they really are, found pictures!